Belly to Belly is a fantastic exercise created by David Cates that creates greater bonding, security, and builds stronger connections between you and your partner. I conducted an interview recently with Buster Rådvik and Rachel Rickards, two seasoned Belly 2 Belly practitioners and I have taken training with David Cates. The main components are to breathe deep together, so you syncing up the nerve system and creates a lot of safety.
The practise doesn't want to take you anywhere, you are just going to relax and breath together. It is also an amazing conflict resolution tool.
Here is Rachel and Buster explaining the Belly2Belly exercise:
One soft and beautiful exercise is you can do for one another is to lay your head on the chest of the other and just listen to their heartbeat. It is very relaxing and calming and can almost take you back to an early time in your childhood when you were laying on your mother's chest.
Reparenting is a process where you hold a space of parental love for your client. If a client is going into deep wounding around their childhood issues, it will help them to feel parental love to feel safe and to release pent up emotion.
Parental love has a specific quality. It is not lovers or partners love. It is not a friends love. It has a quality that holds your emotional body in a way a mother or a father would hold their child. It is very soft, deep, and very committed unconditional love. The one that when felt melts your core, and makes you think all is well and nothing can harm you in its presence. This love feels so big and so complete, your emotional body responds with full trust. Holding that kind of space requires you to be selfless.
Reason for most childhood traumas is the lack of parental love. For one reason or another child could not feel the love, and in that void of separation from love, the trauma was created.
It's the same with healing that wound. Suppose the person feels parental love within the session, that gives them unconscious permission to trust. Once the trust is there, they will feel ready to enter the wound and express all that is there.
Within the session, we often stroke clients face as a mother would. We feel/act/behave/speak like a mother would with their child.
It is important to know that once the client starts going into the childhood trauma or wound, first, they will NOT trust you, or what you say. The reason they won't trust is the very reason why the trauma was created in the first place. As they spiral deeper into that trauma, they will behave and express all the things their inner wounded child feels. They may feel betrayed, left alone or unloved. So when you touch them with parental love or speak to them in that tone, they will often explode in your face telling you they don't believe you, telling you to go away and to leave them alone. Then you must stay rooted in that love and carry on showering them in it. If they feel even a bit of your fear, insecurity, or inability to really feel and hold that love, they will not trust you and will close the wound again without going through it and healing it.
However, if they feel you are rooted in parental love, they will melt in it, and outpour of pent up emotion will happen all by itself. Often you don't have to press into their body anymore. Once the process of opening is happening, you just have to hold the space of love and wait for it to complete itself.
Woow - it is many beautiful practices!!
I want to give you the outline of another really powerful and advanced practice.
It is de-armouring. It is for you that wants to take it one step further.